Hello, My Old Friend

Or my old vomiting bucket. Yes? Yes. Let's just call the kettle black, shall we?

A new chronicle of my life. 

Because I need another one of those, right?

Well, actually, I need one that I don't really need to edit, and one that I can kind of blurt my emotions into, and keep track of things like weight and beauty and self confidence without feeling like a thirteen year old searching for pity. And so here I am. Just sending myself out into the universe so I can laugh at me later.

I want to not be conscious of my body. I want to be able to put on clothes, look good in them, and walk out the door without really thinking about it. Healthy is always important. Is it okay to want to be healthy for the vain reasons? I want to have nice skin and a lot of energy. I would like to fit into the jeans I own, much less jeans smaller than the ones I own. I would like to go bathing suit shopping and not end the trip in tears. I'm proud of who I am as a person (for the most part), and I would like to finally be proud of who I am physically. 

Today, I ate 250 calories too much. I tried that new things where you rinse your hair and comb it so that the natural oils from scalp get distributed throughout so your hair is supposed to look amazing. And it kind of does. Mainly my entire head feels greasy. Tomorrow is a hair wash day, thank goodness. Also, after googling "French Beauty Secrets" (to the chagrin of my roommate, more on that later), found out I'm only supposed to wash my face at night and simply rinse it with cold water in the morning to get rid of dead skin cells from the evening of beauty rest. Which has worked fine so far. Just hoping I don't break out soon. But my skin has been so dry from the heating, that I'm hoping this works.

So, my roommate rolled her eyes after she heard what I was researching so intently. And she said that Europeans are just interested in natural beauty. Making their hair look beautiful instead of dying it, making their skin clear and beautiful instead of caking on make up. It takes a little bit more time than the artificial American stuff, but it also lasts longer and helps you age well. So, that's my new research task. That, making sure I lose a ton of weight.